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It has been 9 glorious months leading up to the arrival of your bundle of joy. You bring your new pride and joy home and are settling in quite nicely, well minus a few hours of sleep, and the adjustment of a whole new responsibility, but, none the less life couldn’t be better for your new little family.
Fast forward a little bit to around week 7 or 8, you have been back to the doctor for your 6 week check up and everything is a-okay in regards to pushing that watermelon out of a hole the size of a grape. The doctor asks the typical questions, birth control? Ah, yes please! Functioning on only 3 hours a sleep a night and you are still wide enough awake to make sure you answer a big fat YES to that question! Then he proceeds to move on to the statement that you have healed very nicely and you can go ahead and resume having sex. WHAT? Have sex, are you freakin kidding me? That is the furthest thing from your mind right now, between the baby flab, the leaking nipples, the lack of sleep, the walking around in a daze with everything new going on and just the utter dishevelment your life feels like it is in, the furthest thing from your mind is getting it on with your husband. Not to mention the thoughts of giving birth still very fresh in your mind, not sure you feel ready for anything to penetrate THAT yet!
That is EXACTLY how I felt, however, my husband had different thoughts… let’s face it, 7 or 8 weeks is a LONG time for him to go with no action, let alone how long it had been leading up to the birth when I felt like a beached whale and could barely get comfortable to sleep let alone do anything remotely sexual. Yeah, he is pretty much dying over here for a little action! Poor guy, what am I going to do to not only please him, but also make myself feel pretty and in the mood for a little play?
First and foremost, take it slow and do not do anything painful or uncomfortable. Even though your husband may be feeling like a huge horn dog, communicate with him your inhibitions and he will understand how you are feeling.
Take 5 minutes (or an hour) whatever you need to make yourself feel pretty, put on some makeup, make an appointment to get a Brazilian, if that is too wild for you get a bikini wax. Do something to make yourself get that sexy feel back. Splurge by booking a baby sitter and going out for a nice romantic dinner, if that isnt possible, make a nice romantic dinner to eat at home after the baby goes to sleep. Relax as a couple, not just as a Mommy and Daddy.
I read a very humorous, yet informative book called The Mominatrix’s Guide to Sex by Kristen Chase. It was a very candid and light-hearted book but gave some encouragement and good information to getting back into the swing of sex things.
Chase suggests that sex isn’t just about intercourse and I think that is something that we all need to take a step back and look at. Sex with your partner is about feeling close and getting intimate with your partner. It could be foreplay, oral sex, mutual masturbation, or playing with toys. Those are all great ways to ease back into the sexual being you were before child birth.
So, go out there, get pretty and sexy and get reconnected to your partner. After all, in order to be productive loving parents there has to be that strong connection between the two of you and that all starts with some alone time and connecting on that deeper level. |
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